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The Nun and Hooters
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters restaurant.
The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?
The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."
Well, in that case I'll just look the other way," said the nun.
So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"
But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.
The difference between genius and stupidity at the bridge table is that genius has its limits.
A cleaning woman was applying for a new position. When asked why she left her last employment, she replied, "Well, sir, they paid good wages, but it was the most ridiculous place I ever worked.
They played a game called Bridge, and last night a lot of folks were there. As I was about to bring
in the refreshments, I heard a man say, "Lay down and let's see what you've got."
Another man said, "I've got strength but no length." Another man says to the lady,
"Take your hand off my trick!" I pretty near dropped dead just then, when the lady answered,
"You jumped me twice when you didn't have the strength for one raise."
Another lady was talking about protecting her honor and two other ladies were talking and one said,
"Now it's time for me to play with your husband and you can play with mine."
Well, I just got my hat and coat and as I was leaving, I hope to die if one of them didn't say,
"Well, I guess we'll go home now. This is the last rubber."
North & South disappeared to the bathroom and North was heard to say
"This is the only time I know what you have in your hand"